The Plan

Being raised a Catholic, religion to me was a set of calculated requirements - church on Sunday (or Saturday night at 5 if you had sports on Sunday), the sacraments, pray the rosary, and guilt. I never had a strong faith in that God knew what he was doing with my future until at 21, I sat newly married in a town hundreds of miles from everything I had ever known, watching my new husband leave for war. The stubborn in me was relented to stay and survive this new life on my own. The child in me was scared senseless. But, there was one thing my husband had said to me before he left for who knew how long, "I am not going to show up at heaven's gates with God say 'What are you doing here?'". That one smart ass line brought so much of faith to light for me. God knew exactly what was going to happen, and when. My job, was to role with the punches.

On the cusp of a third deployment later, we were blessed with a gorgeous baby girl. She made quite an elaborate and dramatic entrance via emergency c-section. We were young, yes. We were in love, sure. We were a family. Eight months later my husband returned home to a chatterbox with blonde hair (the baby, not me) who took her first steps within days of his return. We are still trying to catch her. Life was good - easy, not so much. Aside from our readjustment period we faced a 3rd move in 3 years, and family drama involving a terrible financial situation. I realized our little "dream" had been given a full shove into reality. My type A personality kept pushing us forward into what I always imagined our life should be like. 

One month before our little girl's first birthday, we moved into a home to call our own. A gorgeous, move in ready, upgraded home on with a big yard in a fabulous neighborhood. We rounded out the American dream with a black lab puppy the next month. It was everything we wanted in our starter home and the price seemed right. Things were going to be back to "dream like" now. Yeah, right.

Finally living as a married couple, with a now toddler, trying to find balance in work and play, and the money to pay for it all is stressful. No one tells you about that part in the movies or fairy tales. Two failed business ventures and unreturned loans from others only added to the strain. But the two stubborn mules we are just put our heads down and kept plowing through our perfect plan. 

Shortly after our daughter turned 2, I could no longer fight the itch to give her a sibling. My husband graciously obliged (with minimal verbal assault) and no sooner did we think about getting pregnant did 2 pink lines appear. Of course I had researched all the best Doctors and hospitals and how I could finagle the insurance company to pay for it all. Again, a little verbal assault went a long way and I was granted acceptance to the Doctors I wanted. We would have this baby in a top rated civilian hospital with certified OB/GYNs (and no that is not a standard in a military facility) while attempting a VBAC. Great plan. Our first appointment was a dream. 1. because my husband was there and would get a first glimpse of this baby unlike the last and 2. the Doctors were so knowledgeable and listened! At 9 weeks our little peanut looked great.

My first pregnancy had been a dream. All my screening tests came back clear (or so I believe since no one ever called me) so I decided to just have the new NT scan instead of all the blood tests, plus it was another chance to see my baby! On October 20, 2009 at 11 weeks and 4 days I walked in to the Doctors office after an extremely tough event I produced ready to see my beautiful baby again, and that is when everything changed....